51 Things Lenalee Lee Is Not Allowed to Do
by Exile Wrath
Summary: Enough of Lenalee's yaoi fangirling, a list has been written by Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Rei. Those poor Exorcists have had enough.


**Exile wrath: Oh, well, hi? This is just a quick crack oneshot using lazycookies's oneshots with the same beginning. Yes, yes, O5PE is starting to be edited. Rei's just hanging around in the making of this list~**

**51 Things Lenalee Lee is not allowed to do**

*Allen writes the top ten, Kanda the next ten, Lavi another eleven, Komui another nine, and Rei the last ten, and jots down #51 for everyone*

1. Lenalee is not allowed to ask me to serve the Science Department coffee

2. because I usually suffer another Komurin

3. Lenalee is not allowed to ask me if I love Kanda

4. I'm straight, thank you very much.

5. Lenalee Lee is NOT allowed to ask me if I'd like to kiss Lavi

6. I like to keep my breakfast in my stomach, NOT in a pile on the floor

7. and for the 2nd time, I'm PERFECTLY STRAIGHT!

8. Lenalee is not allowed to cry

9. because Komui will automatically assume it's our fault and activate another Komurin

10. and Bak will run in too kill us too.

11. Lenalee is not allowed to ask me what certain Japanese doujinshi phrases mean

12. when she already knows them by heart

13. and all she wants is to see if I get a reaction

14. She is not allowed to leave said doujinshi anywhere around the training room

15. Lenalee is not allowed to ask me if I'd like Moyashi to be my uke

16. because I like my soba left in my stomach, not vomited in the sink -. -

17. Lenalee is not allowed to "accidentally" drop hand-drawn yaoi doujins in front of me

18. and make Komui assume that I'm gay.

19. Lenalee is not allowed to say that I have a crush on a guy. I DON'T.

20. Lenalee is not allowed to ask me if I like yaoi.

21. Lena-chan is not allowed to raid my room

22. I have MALE NECESSITIES in there

23. Lenalee is not allowed to draw me and Moyashi together

24. because I've seen them

25. and excuse ME, but I'm in love with the wonderful lands of boobs, thank you very much

26. Lenalee is not allowed to say that "Moyashi" is mine and Yuu-chan's pet name for Allen.

27. It's a friendly nickname, got it?

28. Lenalee is not allowed to gross me out with yaoi stuff

29. Lenalee is not allowed to gross Rei out with yaoi stuff

30. Scratch that, Lenalee is not allowed to show ANYONE yaoi stuff

31. _We like our sanity_

32. My darling Lenalee is not allowed to kiss Allen Walker

33. My darling Lenalee is not allowed to hug Allen Walker

34. My darling Lenalee is not allowed to kiss Kanda (even if he's gay)

35. My darling Lenalee is not allowed to hug Kanda

36. My darling Lenalee is not allowed to hug Lavi

37. My darling Lenalee is not allowed to kiss Lavi

38. My darling Lenalee is not allowed to destroy my Komurins

39. My darling Lenalee is not allowed to allowed to have her purity tainted

40. My darling Lenalee is not allowed to fall in love with any octopus

41. Lenalee is barred from asking me why I cross-dress

42. It's a habit, okay?

43. Lenalee is not allowed to ask me if I'm actually a gay guy

44. I'M A FREAKING GIRL!

45. Lenalee is not allowed to tell what a seme is.

46. Lenalee is not allowed to tell me what a uke is

47. Wait, Lenalee is not allowed to tell me ANY terms that deal with yaoi

48. Lenalee is not allowed to ask me what I think of ANY yaoi pairings between my friends

49. Lenalee is not allowed to ask me if I can help her draw doujinshi

50. especially if their M-rated for lemons

"DONE!" Ryuukei exclaimed happily, setting the pen down and stretching her arms. Allen, Kanda and Lavi picked it up and scanned over it triumphantly. "That should cover EVERYTHING." The 4 teens breathed sighs of relief and proceeded to toast a round of soda. Komui had left after writing down his ten.

"To the list." Allen said confidently.

"To the list." everyone else chorused.

"GUYS! THERE YOU ARE!" Lenalee cried, bursting into Rei's room and carrying a notebook. "Read this! I swear it's not doujinshi!" They crowded around the paper, and after turning several pages of a well-written story, they blanched at the contents of the next page and fled the room. Allen grabbing the paper on the way out. After recovering from choking on their soda, Rei took the list back and yanked out another pen, scribbling furiously on the bench.

51. Lenalee is not allowed to make any Exorcist read any sort of yaoi content, ESPECIALLY NOT YAOI FANFICTION.

* * *

><p><strong>So? Like it? Hate it? Love it? I hope I didn't offend any yaoi fans...<strong>

**Review?**


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